Sunday, April 24, 2005

Golden tears from trees

image

What became of the Amber Room? Among the art treasures of Europe stolen by the Nazis in their conquest of the continent during World War 2, the Amber Room’s fate is most mysterious. Some believe that it was permanently lost in a fire at the end of the war, and some believe that it is waiting to be discovered.

But the Russians haven’t waited and are currently nearing the end of their restoration work at the Catherine Palace. Golden memories indeed. Via MetaFilter.

tags: [] [] []

Saturday, April 23, 2005

Big cock metaphor of the week

That is one big gun. And that’s another. The largest big cock symbols ever, courtesy of Adolf Hitler.

tags: [] [] [] [] [] []

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Mini-rail Torpedo

This is a guy who's very talented in House Gymnastics, an exciting new sport involving a house, its fixtures and fittings, and personal defiance of gravity. Great stuff. Found at the excellent Tofu Hut.

Monday, April 18, 2005

That's a hell of a lot of Cardinals

image

And so it begins. By night they will be locked in a modern Cardinals-only hotel in the Vatican; by day they will be locked in the sublime Sistine Chapel. They won’t move freely again until they have elected one of their own to the Papacy. The Catholic Church is the Catholic Church, and as such I guess it has to have a Pope. And as such, I guess it has to be one of a number of aged, religious men. Yes, maybe it’s because I’m in my twenties and gay and don’t like religion that I find this so disturbing, but the fact that the current favourites for the post are all conservatives of an ultra-conservative church worries me no end. See the previous post on this issue earlier this month.

Getting to more wholesome things, Jonathan emerges from a blog hiatus to write dreamily about art, life and feeling sorry for oneself. He muses on the elegant notion that “people who think art and depression go hand in hand are dead wrong. Dead as in metaphorically, not dead as in Vincent van Gogh rotting in his suicidal grave.”

I reckon that’s accurate enough. For, with only some notable exceptions in hundreds upon hundreds of years of art, depression is to the production of art what pasteurised milk is to the production of Camembert: it produces an unsavoury mess at best, and a squalid, forced little diarrhoeaic accident at worst.

I know because I’ve been there. And other writers, and musicians, and sculptors and I daresay even pop artists have, too. It’s a dark, misaligned place filled with distorted misunderstandings and self-righteous beliefs in the unique shittiness of your own situation.

One of the things I’ve learned in well over 10 years of more-or-less serious art appreciation is that if the artist didn’t have at least one clear, unwarped idea at the heart of a piece of work, the observer won’t get a clear idea of what the hell (s)he was on about at the end of it. But feeling disillusioned or bitter or grumpy as hell about something: oh yes. Now that can produce satisfying art. You only have to look at Bacon or Larkin or, dare I say it, Damien Rice, to see that.

And irony? Oh yes. During their deliberations, the Cardinals may care to gaze up at the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, jewel of the home of the Roman Catholic Church on earth, to see perfect, erotic, lustfully rendered male figures of God and the Saints — all painted by one of the greatest male artists Christendom has ever known.

tags: [] [] []

Monday, April 11, 2005

No electricity. Fighting, hunger and death?

This article scares the shit out of me:

These are daunting and even dreadful prospects. The Long Emergency is going to be a tremendous trauma for the human race. We will not believe that this is happening to us, that 200 years of modernity can be brought to its knees by a world?wide power shortage. The survivors will have to cultivate a religion of hope ? that is, a deep and comprehensive belief that humanity is worth carrying on.

Yes, the article really scares the shit out of me. So much will go to wrack and ruin, seriously. Let’s see, things I take for granted: the ability to go hear organ recitals in a concert hall. Concert halls will have closed ? and / or have been swept aside for farmland where possible. The ability to use my bank cards in a cash machine. What cash machine? Listen to music? On / through / with what, exactly? Surf the net? What net?

*whimpers, thinks of buying cyanide capsules just in case*

But actually, since stuff I care about like arts and culture and sciences and things will go on, I’m encouraged: think of how much printing will cost, think of the return to hot metal, even just think of how amazing books are going to be when writers must be carefully chosen again and today’s designers learn about actual metal typesetting. But jesus, everything will be so scary. Think of medicine without electrically?mass?produced medicines and therapies, for example.

tags: [] [] [] [] []

Sunday, April 03, 2005

Pope still dead

image
His last word was “Rosebud”, but he was probably talking about his first altar boy.
notmydesk, MetaFilter

In a shocking new development, it recently emerged from the Vatican that Pope John Paul II, who died a few hours ago, is still dead.

Heh, look, sorry for that. I feel a sense of great occasion about this death in particular, as I’m sure many others do, religious or not. However, I think a lot of it is overblown and I cannot bring myself to feel sad. I didn’t know the man, and I have my own (on balance, negative) opinions about how the Catholic Church he led influences individuals and the world.

Which is why I can’t help feeling that all the crying and so on is rather… misplaced somehow; this is one old man, an 86–year–old virgin, who has died, not a whole town or villageful of people during a war. Undoubtedly the person of the Pope — that is, the Papal office — has ceased to exist for a while, and that is why many Catholics and others will feel disturbed and rootless.

The arcane and purposeful procedures now to be set in place, however, will soon set people’s emotions to rights. I’ve always been interested in what happens when a Pope or someone equally important dies: to meditate for a second, it’s just very interesting to see loads of homo sapiens clustering round a more important homo sapiens in its life or after its death, to see what happens…

tags: [] [] [] []

Sunday, March 27, 2005

To be Diaryesque...

…for a while. I logged on to a favourite and very longstanding community website of mine tonight, only to find that in a few weeks it’s going to become a grotesque, twistedly commercial simulacrum of what it once was, and that has left me feeling somewhat pissed off and deflated. I can’t really link to it after what I’ve just said because of libel issues, but hell, why not.

On a related note, I feel like biting the hand that feeds, so for those of you who can see the tripod bollocks that’s recently appeared above the peripathetic title–bar above, does anyone fancy finding out exactly which URL has to be blocked to make it go away? I’ve tried and failed so far.

tags: [] [] []

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

Red Lake Shootings

image

The news is bad. Another high–school shooting. Another pointless waste of several young, and several older, lives. The teenager, 17 years old, killed himself afterwards. His livejournal. His presence on a Nazi website (and WARNING: yes, that site is a Nazi website so don’t click if you don’t want to see that stuff).

I don’t know what to report at the moment but I’m sure this story’s background and context will develop over days, weeks and months. I’ll be watching.

Update 28/3/05: The Smoking Gun has more on his net presence. Cryptome has some of his writings (very violent).

tags: [] [] [] []

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

Gerry

image
This self-indulgent bilge is about — absolutely nothing!
— Rex Reed, New York Observer

Gus van Sant, director of Good Will Hunting and Elephant (which I also reviewed here) has recently departed from conventional filmmaking. Some people loved Elephant; some hated it. Hardly anyone dithered halfway. It’s the same with Gerry, a film in which two young friends hiking in the wilderness get lost, and stay lost, over a few days.

The camera barely moves: the two characters move across the shot, across the wilderness, looking for the path, looking for a remembered landmark or other, looking for the highway. They fail. There’s no water anywhere. Nights pass. They rarely speak. They get weaker. You, like them, think longingly of the car they appeared in at the start. You think of the comfort of a simple signboard. You fret.

It’s excruciatingly slow, and builds an agony of worry, strung–out panic, and a desire to run to your mummy’s arms and be told everything’s going to be alright. You feel the highly troubling alienation of being truly lost. Annoyingly, reviewers wax far too lyrical about films like this, using words like “existential” and “discourse”. Actually, this is just a feature–length representation of two people getting lost which very accurately replicates the associated feelings in the viewer and as such you will either want to see it or you won’t want to see it at all.

For my money (£15 for the DVD to be exact) it’s as true and beautiful a work of art as a haiku about a leaf, for example, and just as important and valid.

tags: [] [] [] []

Monday, March 14, 2005

Always writing, but sometimes writing

If creative writing is birth, then blogging is The Pill — or at least, it is or has been to some writers! Interesting little snippet over at rodcorp about the phenomenon. (via MetaFilter)

The thread and novel are pretty bare, but to give you the general idea, here’s a quote from novelist William Gibson (whose blog is here):

I do know from doing it that [blogging’s] not something I can do when I’m actually working. ... If I expose things that interest or obsess me as I go along, there’d be no need to write the book. The sinews of narrative would never grow.

Myself, I find very much that if I blog ‘too much’ then I write less often than I’d like to. It’s not so much that I feel there’s no need for my kind of poetry when I’m blogging — and even less that I feel blogging is a close second to poetic development because it just isn’t.

Rather, I think that what makes most writers blog less when writing more, or write less when blogging more, is that blogging takes time. And writing takes time. And the necessary thinking before that writing — well, it usually takes a great deal of solitary introspective time. There are only 24 hours in a day, and people get tired, too.

That said, I don’t think that I’ve misplaced any of my poetic material here at peripathetic. I’ve been quite deliberately avoiding ‘writer’s notebook’ entries for the most part, precisely because I want to keep one particular set of creative batteries highly charged. And if I ever go quiet here for a long time and don’t give a specific reason, that’ll be because I’m writing.

tags: [] [] []

Tuesday, March 08, 2005

A very big hole in the ground

image

Wow. That is one big hole. Clicking the photo takes you to a very much larger version (beware modem users). The website has more cool photos.

This gargantuan room is only a tiny part of the unimaginably large and complicated CERN installation underneath a part of Switzerland.

It’s not part of World War IV though, I promise you. In fact this room links to a big (understatement of the year!) underground ring through which lots of machinery curves. The ring and the caverns and the machines and the scientists all make up a scientific institute whose aim is to fly loads of particles really really fast around the ring, in the hope of doing complicated physics–type stuff. The 27–kilometre ring is the largest scientific instrument ever created.

From their website:

CERN is the European Organization for Nuclear Research, the world’s largest particle physics centre. Here physicists come to explore what matter is made of and what forces hold it together.

CERN exists primarily to provide them with the necessary tools. These are accelerators — which accelerate particles to almost the speed of light — and detectors, to make the particles visible.

So, there you are. More explanations here, and here. But really, the photo was just amazing. I hated physics at school, though.

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

Buildings in museums

image

Not content with collecting and storing beautiful objects or works of art, some museums actually own entire rooms. Usually from threatened houses, they are made structurally sound, taken apart, and put into store or reassembled inside the museum to be walked through or peeped into.

The photo above is of a French cloister in a monastery near Montpellier, France. Except that it’s actually in New York’s Metropolitan Museum of Art. The building it’s built around contains other cloisters, too. This isn’t the first time I’ve seen entire buildings moved into a completely different country, but it’s certainly the most impresssive example of the practice. All that stone. Phew!

The Museum’s website is a joy to use, and you will find your favourites — I particularly enjoyed the sections on Islamic Art and Modern Art.

tags: [] [] []

Saturday, February 26, 2005

A comparison of the Ists + a nice book

image

Gothamist is where it all started. I link to it enough, and did so in the previous post, so go there at once and have a browse if you want a read which truly reaches out into the current happenings in New York. There are snippets of arts, entertainment, film. There are restaurant reviews. There are regular recipes. There’s even a weather slot. This is the perfect example of the genuine outreach blog.

Next, I chose to check out Bostonist, which at only two months old is already doing quite a bit of its own outreach. There’s a regular music listing and some selected international news — Pontiff Watch Boston Edition as an example.

Seattlest (hmm, no –ist suffix) is more homely, with sports high on the agenda. It’s as old as Bostonist. There’s an offshoot, also, of the recent Gothamist–esque your–questions–answered feature: where to unleash your dog is the latest appearance. Food and drink are also honoured.

DCist is Washington’s stall in the stable. It’s been around for about 8 months. Its outlook is quite arty, techy and weathery also, but I have to confess that just as DC doesn’t do much for me as an ‘idea city’ — it seems sterile somehow — so DCist doesn’t succeed in making me think that I’d really want to go there. It does link to Club Whirled, what I think is a fictional blog (although maybe not, but it’s certainly a rollercoaster) about three gay men who live within a block of each other in DC, though. So it’s not all bad.

Chicagoist, an 8–month–old cheeky chappie of a blog, has what to my eyes is an ideal mix of film, urban outreach and the odd spot of sex: I loved this entry about a court decision that sperm is a gift, not a loan! They currently have a good entry on The Oscars, too.

Torontoist, born in October 2004, has the usual mix of shopping, food, news and urban outreach, and I like its concentration on arts and media of all kinds. Theatre and magazines get mentioned, including The Walrus which, despite its name, is a respectable arts title.

LA and San Francisco are also offshoots, but I’ll concentrate finally on Londonist which to my mind just doesn’t reach out enough into what’s happening there. Around since October 2004, it’s sadly more of a general blog with a London slant, rather than a London blog with a general embrace. Didn’t even post specifically on a London event, by the looks of things, until 2005. Not enough Londoncentric photos, either. But it’s a promising start and if it wasn’t an Ist, I’d be fond of it as it is.

So, that’s it. But I do want to mention one other thing: I was looking at Poets & Writers yesterday and it had a link to the lovely Vernacular Press, which has a line in lavish production and new writing. Anthropology of an Americal Girl is a book which, judging by the quality of the first chapter, I’d really like to explore further.

tags: [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] []

Joy Zipper

Some news. Schism in the Anglican Communion is now on the cards. Apparently those men in robes meeting in Newry have decided that they cannot commune with the American and Canadian churches which continue down a more libertarian path. But only temporarily, you understand, so they can ‘consider their position’. Hmm. Somehow I don’t think they will reconsider. Although different pressures may be brought to bear — a desire to be whole on the one hand and a life in the 21st century on the other — so it’ll be interesting.

And just for future reference, the US may drop a couple of bombs on Iran later this year. May do. Don’t know.

And most importantly since it’s the weekend, I predict that Joy Zipper are going to get quite popular (although not outrageously so) when their forthcoming album adds to their already highly–pleasing output. We’ve had it for a year but they only get it in the US now. Heh. Via Gothamist.

tags: [] [] [] [] []

Friday, February 25, 2005

The Gates may be ephemeral, but...

hot gay sex in Central Park is forever! (NSFW)

The hanky code says orange is ‘anything goes’ after all. Heh. With only a few days to go, I’ll keep checking to see if there are any reports of how much sex actually went on there during the orange period. I bet it was more than usual. ;o)

By the way, the phrase ‘the orange period’ is all mine, because I got there first in defining it as the period during which New York’s Central Park played host to Christo & Jeanne–Claude’s Gates! Ooops, but that Creative Commons License says otherwise. Damn.

tags: [] [] [] []

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

Jason Kottke goes all self-sufficient reader-supported

In news that uncomfortably reminds me of the heading–for–meltdown days when I thought “Oh, I’ll just freelance. It’ll be okay” it emerges that Jason Kottke has given up his job to work on his blog fulltime.

Now, the man isn’t rich. He is very well–known… among bloggers. Kottke.org, the blog in question, is very well–known… among bloggers. And there lies the problem, because to support himself financially, he’s enlisting the financial support of bloggers to pay his bills.

They just won’t want to pay the $30 per head that he asks as a donation. Still a free, no–ads site, but you pay if you want. It’s a wonderful, ambitious recipe for disaster, in my opinion. And that’s why I hope people won’t pay.

Before anyone accuses me of being a heartless bastard, I’m not saying this because “he has the guts to go it alone and I don’t” or psychobabble like that. Let me just point out that the best blogs carry the unmistakable flavour of enthusiasm for a range of personal interests. That enthusiasm is heightened if you turn to your blog after a comparatively lacklustre day’s work.

If your passion becomes your way of earning a crust, it might work. But he needs money. Real big money. And very few people really have that hunger there, and it’s a hunger which is oft tested and proved by time, rather than grand first gestures.

So let’s wait and see, but I wish the man would at least get a part–time job or a few really flexible contracts. Or get wise for his own good. Le sigh.

tags: [] [] [] [] [] [] []

Monday, February 21, 2005

Primates in robes. Hmm. How very gay.

Newry, here in Northern Ireland, is the meeting–place this week of the Primates Meeting 2005 — a gathering at which the chief ordained officials of the Anglican Communion will meet to discuss issues regarding homosexuality and the church.

If you’re gay or homophobic you’ll certainly be aware that in 2003, Gene Robinson was ordained as Bishop of New Hampshire by the Episcopal Church in the US. Outcry followed. Here in the UK, Jeffrey John was appointed as Bishop of Reading, but didn’t take up the post due to controversy.

Well, not just controversy. There was so much biblical fucking anger that a massive section of the Church worldwide finally threatened to walk away and take its congregations and clergy with it.

Why the fuss? Both men were gay.

So the Lambeth Commission was set up to report:

on the legal and theological implications flowing from the decisions of the Episcopal Church (USA) to appoint a priest in a committed same sex relationship as one of its bishops, and [...] specifically on [...] the ways in which provinces of the Anglican Communion may relate to one another in situations where the ecclesiastical authorities of one province feel unable to maintain the fullness of communion with another part of the Anglican Communion

After the Commission issued its report, its chairman Robin Eames, Primate of all Ireland, invited all the Primates to Newry to discuss everything. This is therefore big news for 2 reasons: they’re all meeting a few miles away from here, and what they’re talking about there will determine whether there will continue to be a single worldwide Anglican church in future. History in the making…

I think the Church should split over this issue. First, why have a single Communion eternally polluted by strife between 2 factions which can never reconcile with each other when you could have 2 independent happy Churches? Second, being a gay atheist, I have to confess that I see no reason why the future of any church of any kind should be desperately, artificially prolonged.

Now, I’m not crowing, and not jubilant: Christians will undoubtedly be very distressed over this, and for that they have my sympathy. But their institutions that exert their influence over a simply organic planet: as they crumble, let them crumble.

tags: [] [] [] []

How very not gay. At all

photo

Via BoingBoing, I’ve encountered one of the strangest gay marriage stories ever:

On Friday, under a romantic drizzle in a muddy clearing in Compostela Valley province in Mindanao, Ka Andres and Ka Jose exchanged vows in a heavily guarded ceremony before local villagers, friends from the city and their comrades in arms.

They are considered the first homosexual couple in the New People's Army (NPA) who were wed by the Communist Party of the Philippines (CPP).

During the “wedding,” sponsors draped a sequined CPP flag around the couple’s shoulders. The flag was held in place by a long, beaded cord which also went around the couple and the sponsors — symbolizing that their marriage would be made stronger with the help of comrades and the masses.

Andres held a bullet, as did Jose and each other's hands. The bullets represented their “commitment in the armed struggle.”

So: gay, guerrillas, outcasts, terrorists to some in the world… not that I support brutal murderers or anything, but never let it be said that all gay people are nancy–boy pussies! Sheesh!

And by the way, MetaFilter comments are here. A full day after I got hold of this. Oh yeah!

tags: [] [] [] []

Friday, February 18, 2005

A decent America. — What?!

America’s House of Representatives has overwhelmingly voted in favour of a Bill which seeks to curb indecency by introducing massive fines. $500,000 a nipple, no kidding. But only on TV. Hmm. It doesn’t surprise me that they passed this Bill though — who’s going to even try to argue for ‘permissible indecency’ in front of one of the most conservative legislatures of the western world?

Up in Canada, however, they’re about to invoke the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms in making same–sex marriage fully legal. Woo! Way to go, mes amis!

tags: [] [] [] [] [] [] []

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

The Gates, differently


The Gates composite
Originally uploaded by peripathetic.
Well, overtaken by Gothamist’s superb satellite photo post of The Gates, I looked around on Flickr and made this rough collagey thing. Not that it’s much good itself, but I loved clicking through the photos on flickr and wandering through the park in my head. I caught something online, earlier, along the lines of “To properly appreciate The Gates, one must stroke one’s beard at least three times.” Heh!

Monday, February 14, 2005

So, yeah...

A message

…I got this message today (and I consider posting it here fair use, especially since I’m naming the insanely talented Bryon Fear as the graphical artist and providing a link to the site, OUT, which it comes from). As you can see, it’s an anonymous card sent by an admirer. I’m all intrigued.

Anyone want to own up? ;o)

Saturday, February 12, 2005

What a shit name

When I’m older my name is going to be seriously unappealing!

tags: [] [] [] []

Friday, February 11, 2005

Golden rivers in the trees

photo of new york central park

I’m relieved that, apart from coffee, my first proper post about the city of New York will be about its citizens and visitors looking at it in a new way by means of beauty. For tomorrow, the 12th of February, will see rivers of gold flow through the lower branches of the trees in Central Park.

Relief aside, it’s an amazing project. Created by Christo and Jeanne–Claude, the people who most famously wrapped the Reichstag in Berlin, The Gates in Central Park (which I’ve read a lot about on Gothamist) will span 23 miles of the park’s footpaths. Golden material will hang from the top of each ‘gate’, making it look like there’s shimmering warmth hovering in the branches of the trees. Quite something on a freezing winter day in a brown and grey park at the heart of one of the world’s great cities!

Aside from the obvious visual effects, what I like to call the ‘Christmas Decoration effect’ will happen: old places will be made rich and strange for a while, and when it’s all taken away, those places will be new and old at the same time. Hmm... the presence of an effect through its absence.

While it’s present, though, check out its blog, The Gates @ Central Park.

Update, 12th Feb: They’re unfurled.

tags: [] [] [] [] [] [] []

Saturday, February 05, 2005

To amplify?

Photo

Or not? The question, posed by James Fenton in this week’s Guardian Review (a books magazine, and one of the best ‘free’ offerings around) interests me. Do we want our actors to appear unassisted? I’d say yes. When I go to the theatre, I want the human–sized, attention–sized, attention–filled, intimate atmosphere of a theatre — hence no speakers needed. If I want amplified drama (and I often do) I turn to my DVD collection, or the cinema. It’s the same with music. However well–recorded your CD, however good your HiFi, you are listening to a layer of machinery between your ears and the musician and room (or hall, church, wherever). Classical music: I nearly always prefer a live performance. ‘Popular’ music: I nearly always prefer a CD.

If reading a gentle, readable, cultured poet (heh, and that’s not me, it’s James Fenton!) who’s writing about a subject dear to him isn’t enough for you, what about a Thing? Inspired by the Review’s photo of an amphitheatre, I remembered looking at the Third Reich in Ruins site (filled with photos of, and info about, the remaining architecture of Nazi Germany). Thingstätte (Thing arenas) were open–air arenas modelled on Roman amphitheatres.

In 1934 the Nazi Propaganda Ministry under Joseph Goebbels began a movement based on the “Blut und Boden” (Blood and Soil) ideology — the so–called “Thing” movement. A Thing was an ancient Nordic/Germanic gathering of the people, in an outdoor setting. The Nazi Thing gatherings were to be held in specially–constructed outdoor amphitheaters, called (in the singular) Thingplatz or Thingstätte. Here, the people would gather for Völkisch meetings and to view theater and propaganda presentations written especially for the Thing style. The Thing sites were to be built as much as possible in a natural setting, incorporating rocks, trees, water bodies, ruins, and hills of some historical or mythical significance.

Leaving the hateful ideology which led to these places completely aside, I think they are a superb marriage of landscape and architecture, although I react to them with the same sense of the sinister which this blogger (superb photos of the Heidelberg site) senses. Had any other country built them, they would be justly popular to this day and ideal for theatre, music or poetry. Hmm.

tags: [] [] [] [] [] []

Cookies

Yum. Except, in this case, these delicious treats cost $900 to the girls who made them. It happened like this: two teenage girls in Durango, Colorado decided that, instead of going to ‘a dance’ (how quaint) where there might be ‘drunkenness and cursing’ (again, how quaint) they’d rather stay at home. And after completing their chores, mucking out the livestock or whatever it was, they asked their dad if it was OK to make some cookes as a surprise for neighbours. They left them on doorsteps — and then got sued for $900. It gets better worse:

Inside one of the nine scattered rural homes south of Durango that got cookies that night, a 49–year–old woman became so terrified by the knocks on her door around 10:30 p.m. that she called the sheriff’s department. Deputies determined that no crime had been committed.

But Wanita Renea Young ended up in the hospital emergency room the next day after suffering a severe anxiety attack she thought might be a heart attack.

A Durango judge Thursday awarded Young almost $900 to recoup her medical bills. She received nothing for pain and suffering.

“The victory wasn’t sweet,” Young said Thursday afternoon. “I’m not gloating about it. I just hope the girls learned a lesson.”

WHAT THE FUCK?!??!?!??!?

The girls wrote letters of apology to Young. Taylor's letter, written a few days after the episode, said in part: “I didn’t realize this would cause trouble for you. … I just wanted you to know that someone cared about you and your family.”

The families had offered to pay Young’s medical bills if she would agree to indemnify the families against future claims.

Young wouldn’t sign the agreement. She said the families’ apologies rang false and weren’t delivered in person. The matter went to court.

Young said she believes that the girls should not have been running from door to door late at night.

“Something bad could have happened to them,” she said.

What a fucking bitch. She’s obviously either the product of a very backward and punitive locale, or mentally ill. Or both. I feel sure karma will take its due, as MetaFilter predicts. Oh yeah, and the judge in the case should be punished too — by having to deliver late–night cookies to Wanita Young.

tags: [] [] [] []

Thursday, February 03, 2005

Goodness

In more senses than one! When I started Opera the other day and it started harvesting RSS feeds, it grabbed another few Moleskinerie posts (always nice) — and there was a recent post of mine featured on its front page! The ensuing discussion has been animated. Not at all sure whether I like being featured for being controversial, but I love having been featured by one of my favourite blogs!

Now for some more goodness, although not necessarily of the surprising kind. Last night, I set up a new blog for my friend Giles. It’s currently blank but when he makes the first post, it’ll go on the blogroll. Expect incendiary eloquence. Notebooks get a second airing on these pages with Ciak - I hadn’t heard of them before, but they look like colourful… you–know–whats.

Books, of the already–written variety, have seen quite a bit of riffling at my hands lately. I’ve been reading the Christmas presents for the first time, even reading some books which have remained virgin for months on end. And one in particular that I didn’t rate too highly has been getting what I’ll euphemistically call ‘some attention’ recently. The Da Vinci Code. A documentary about the supposed code itself was on TV here earlier, which just goes to show how a bestseller can influence what you see on the box. And here’s the Opus Dei website — there don’t seem to be too many flagellants there to me. But maybe it’s all just a civilised front. Heh! ;o)

I know. Flaying yourself with a whip isn’t goodness, and I said I’d bring you goodness. Alright then. Delighted to. Now I’m going to wind down before bedtime. Night!

tags: [] [] [] [] []

Tuesday, February 01, 2005

Plenty of curves

image of CD cover

This album makes me think of plenty of curvy furniture, mohair sweaters, big wooden clogs with shiny red leather, glass tables and little fires in bijou little fireplaces. Not that it’s wintry. No — it’s anything but seasonal in any season. It pulls away from the sides of your glass — typical Jelly.

As far as my reviewing skills for this kind of music go, I really can’t do a good job. Other than to say that as a musical, satisfying example of the form, I’d give it 4//5, with perfection level at 4/5 and technical mastery at 5/5. I bow to the Guardian, Amazon, and the promo material, which actually is spot on as a realistic idea of what you’ll get if you listen.

The resurgence of rock in most aspects of popular music has certainly not gone unnoticed by Lemon Jelly’s Fred Deakin and Nick Franglen as ’64–’95 is littered with epic guitars and explosive refrains nestling amongst the downbeat soul for which they are best known. Opener “Come Down on Me” is tense, fiery, and for the most part dominated by the partnership of crashing power–chords and a lead synth that, while not big–beat, wouldn’t sound out of place on an old Lo–Fi’s or Chemical Brothers’ album. … Fast–forward to 2005 and a new album is here, ’64–’95, out January 31st. Based upon unlikely samples, it’s very much a Lemon Jelly record but not as you know it. It is also their first album to come with an accompanying DVD that has been lovingly created by their design cohorts, Airside. … Each of ’64–’95’s nine tracks samples a deeply unfashionable record from a year within the title’s timeframe. 1988 is represented not by acid house, but by Masters of Reality’s metal; 1976 offers fruity Oxbridge vocal group the King’s Singers instead of the Sex Pistols; 1993 is depicted not as grunge’s zenith, but the year that gave us Atlantic Ocean’s pop–trance smash Waterfall.

Lemon Jelly so often gets bastardised as function–music — not only in the sense that it’s played as background–music at various ‘functions’ but that it is used as wakeup music, workout music (erm, how exactly does one work out to this music? I want to know), filler music while you sit in a coffeeshop and stare blankly at your ersatz beverage.

While it is the fate of all modern music to be aural wallpaper, in many cases such a fate is unfortunate, and, at worst, unjust. I’m really looking forward to waking up with The Shouty Track tomorrow morning in a dark bus. But it’s excellent when you’re fully awake, doing nothing but listening, and looking around your room, feeling good. More–ish and recommended.

tags: []

Saturday, January 29, 2005

You can never love your Moleskine…

…too much, but you can love it so much that your ideas for how extensively to use it become faintly ridiculous. (For those who don’t know (and why the hell don’t you?! HUH?!): Moleskine.)

Moleskinerie, an excellent, excellent blog on the pleasures we can find in the tactile, the retro, the writerly and open–eyed ways that passionately using any notebook implies, has recently linked to a guy who tells you how to organize your Moleskine as a blog. This strikes me as obviously silly. A blog is, and to be a blog pretty much has to be, a hypertext document displayed on a computer with an internet connection.

The connection is the key to a blog, allowing you to surf away from the blog using its links, and then to surf away from those links, using theirs. The possibility of a non–self–referential, chaotic surf. When you write, however creatively, in a notebook, what you have is — a notebook. Repeat: a notebook. Not a blog. A notebook. Lots of paper? Writing? Hard covers? No USB port? Ah yes, that’ll be a notebook.

The addition of page numbers or little sticky tabs to your notebook is your choice and may be helpful. But, more and more, these ‘moleskine hacks’ jarringly make me think of a hypothetical kid who likes a piece of driftwood he found on the beach so much that soon we hear the refrain: “If I find out how long it is I can use it as a ruler! Look, I can dip it into my soup, it's a spoon! If I burn the end of it, it can be my pencil! I’ve drawn a face on it, it’s a cat! Meow!”

*sigh*

tags: []

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

Wintry, brrrr.

A satellite image of New York under snow

Well, New York’s certainly taken a bit of a battering lately. In fact, the whole of the Northeast has. The picture above shows a white New York – white because of snow. From memory, the Northeast has had some (literally) killer snowstorms for the past few winters. And we, here in the UK, have had none. Dammit. But every winter, various sites come to our rescue, and a few days ago, it was a MetaFilter poster who linked to the Digital Snow Museum where you can see loads of fascinating and notable snow photos going back to the start of the century.

Lake effect snow events are especially devastating, it seems — just take a look at this photo page of an 86–inch fall. What happens is that winter–storm winds move across lakes (in America, usually the Great Lakes) and they pick up vapour from the warmer water and the vapour freezes and is deposted across the lee shores.

While we’re on the theme of winter stuff, those you who have seen Stanley Kubrick’s The Shining will know of this short scene:

WENDY
Hey, wasn't it around here that the
Donner party got snowbound?

JACK
I think that was farther west in
the Sierras.

DANNY
What was the Donner party?

JACK
There were a party of settlers in
the covered wagon times. They got
snowbound one winter in the
mountains. They had to resort to
cannabilism in order to stay alive.

DANNY
You mean they ate each other up?

JACK
They had to, in order to survive.

The Donner Party is something I knew about only from the movie, and then leading on from that MetaFilter thread I found another one which points to a PBS site called, appropriately, ‘The Donner Party’. (It’s not about celebrations in which delicious spicy strips of beef stuffed into pitta bread are eaten.) The transcript of the associated programme is fascinating — check it out here, and for more harrowing, cannibalistic goodness, be sure to read more sources around the web.

And with that, good night. Stop by some London Underground station photos on your way out.Update: the patches are working, I don’t feel nicotine cravings at all!, but I still love the thought of a cigarette. Meh.

Sunday, January 23, 2005

Oh, the evils

Each cigarette of my chosen brand delivers 0.6mg of nicotine into my body. Gallaher’s website lists 4 ingredients added to tobacco; it also has a page on nicotine addiction which is filled with qualifiers, prevarication, avoidance, and an amount of fudge which would make a child clap its hands.

Addiction is a tricky conversation–piece for many. Forest, the UK’s smokers’ rights group, says that nicotine isn’t addictive — or, at least, that smokers aren’t addicted to nicotine. They can quit, therefore there’s no addiction. Right? Wrong. Addiction as a dictionary definition isn’t really that useful a thing to discuss; better to judge whether or not the chemical manipulation of cigarette ingredients by tobacco companies makes the enjoyment of a cigarette chemically exceptional — and exceptional enough to strongly encourage having another, and strongly discourage stopping.

Another problem is that there’s a lot of bullshit on both sides of the smoking argument. Organisations like Ash (anti–smoking), while clearly on the ball that smoking is bad for you, tend to supplement their source material with manipulative presentation and exhort governments to violate the civil rights of smokers. Organisations like Forest, which are pro–smokers’ rights, are often honest about the health effects of smoking on smokers, but also often strangely say that smoking isn’t an addiction but a habit, and that there are no health worries about passive smoking. Presumably this is to bolster their “it’s not scientifically apocalyptic, therefore you needn’t ban it” attitude.

I’m not going to spend more time on all this; a few quick google searches give you an endless resource.

But, I think that: smokers have a right to smoke unless it is completely outlawed; passive smoking is not always significantly harmful by any means; it is highly unpleasant to most non–smokers; tobacco companies are the devil incarnate; well–intentioned friends and family can seriously become unintentional demons incarnate in their often well–intentioned but hamfisted efforts to get someone to stop; smoking is highly pleasureable but not just chemically:

If alcohol is queen, then tobacco is her consort. It’s a fond companion for all occasions, a loyal friend through fair weather and foul. People smoke to celebrate a happy moment, or to hide a bitter regret. Whether you’re alone or with friends, it’s a joy for all the senses. What lovelier sight is there than that double row of white cigarettes, lined up like soldiers on parade and wrapped in silver paper? I love to touch the pack in my pocket, open it, savour the feel of the cigarette between my fingers, the paper on my lips, the taste of tobacco on my tongue. I love to watch the flame spurt up, love to watch it come closer and closer, filling me with its warmth. … Tobacco and alcohol, delicious fathers of abiding friendships and fertile reveries.
—Luis Buñuel

And yes, I agree with all that. Fervently. Giving up cigarettes, for me, is going to be a matter not of being a total non–smoker or a light smoker. It is going to be a matter of being an occasional smoker. Why? For the same reason I’d not give up drinking champagne, eating wild mushrooms or buying very expensive books. But why, then, am I crapping myself at the prospect of quitting my regular smoking? Because it’s breaking an addiction. I’ve tried to find material online about the health effects of enjoying 10 fine cigars a year, and I can’t, but I’m fervently hoping I can break the addiction, and be like the people I know who enjoy a single cigar (perhaps with some good port or even tokay) every few weeks.

Smokefreeless

One thing which quitting smoking can really screw up is other people’s heads. I plan to be a prime example: in a while I will have what probably won’t be the last cigarette in my life (keep reading for why) and sometime after that, I will dig out my shiny new patches, and stick one of them to my lower back.

It’s going to be a difficult journey. I am, after all, addicted to nicotine. It is the most powerfully addictive drug known to man, exceeding even heroin and cocaine in its apocalyptically intense withdrawal symptoms. But that addiction is not why I’ve kept smoking for just over 8 years. That addiction does not completely explain why it’s going to be so difficult. Why? Because, in a way, that addiction doesn’t matter. I am a difficult smoker, probably one of the most difficult of all, because I like smoking in and of itself, and would smoke nicotine–and–tar–free cigarettes like a train if they existed.

That’s why the title of this post is emphatically not ‘smokefree’. To be free of someone or something, you’d have to have sort of disliked them or it, wouldn’t you? Smoking: oh you alluring thing, come into my boudoir. Nicotine, on the other hand — fuck off away from me, you squalid whore.

I do want to be nicotine–free, very much so. I am someone who (from now on — hopefully) smokes very very rarely indeed, loves smoking, and hates the tobacco companies for chemically manipulating and messing with the dried leaves of the tobacco plant in very many harmful ways. They add nicotine, for god’s sake. They then boost its effects to get you hooked on it, and thanks to the expertise of the scientists and lawyers who work for them, they deliver the world’s most addictive drug to you for the rest of your life and you give them a massive amount of money in return.

They don’t care about an addiction–free product and a smooth, warm taste. They are in the nicotine–delivery business, and they care about that — and your money.

Now, on to part 2.

Sunday, January 16, 2005

Titan

A photo of the surface of Saturn's moon Titan

That, there, is a composite panoramic view of the surface of Saturn’s moon Titan, taken during the recent descent of the Huygens probe. The Cassini spacecraft, which dropped the Huygens probe, is on a four–year–long mission to orbit Saturn, has already been able to send spectacular images of the rings back to us here on Earth, roughly 9 a.u. (or 1,350 million kilometres) away. In addition to the image above, there are other really amazing photos — take a look.

From what the scientists can glean from the data they’ve collected so far, it seems that the surface is an orangey colour, and is the consistency of wet sand or firm mushy ice. The dark areas seen above could be seas, or could be areas where seas or bodies of water have mostly dried out. The lighter lines near the top of the panorama are either present or former coastlines, with land above. There seems to be a peninsula of some kind just right of centre. The temperature is a couple of hundred degrees below freezing, and the atmosphere is mostly methane. The clouds are methane. The seas, if there are seas, will be liquid methane — in other words, very cold lighter fuel!

Of course I know that humans haven’t made it to Titan, but I’m still quite excited by all this — I mean, think about it! We can blast a very light, very hi–tech piece of metal through our robust atmosphere, somehow point it in the right direction, and send it where we want it to go! Not just 100 miles out. Not just 1,000. Not just a million. But nearly one thousand million miles away. We can control it precisely from a distance like that! We can take photos, we can even tell what’s in the ‘air’ around it! Is that not — truly and literally — marvellous?!

Just re–reading the above, it might seem that I’m doing the all–too–usual crowing: the “how powerful we humans are” speech. I’m not. I’m marvelling at this because we are so small know so very few things, and it’s just plain miraculous, a massive stroke of luck, that we are able to do this kind of thing at all. Clearly, a lot of the scientists are still speculating excitedly:

…European colleagues spent a sleepless night analysing data transmitted from Huygens during its four–hour life on Titan.

The mission's success has raised hopes of understanding the evolution of the solar system and of life on Earth. As Al Diaz, science associate administrator of Nasa — which has collaborated on the Huygens mission — said: ‘Titan is a time machine that gives us an opportunity to look at conditions that existed on early Earth.’

There were a few glitches, however. These included the loss of half the 700 images that were to have been beamed back to Earth, a failure that occurred because one of Huygens’s data channels was not switched on automatically. The European Space Agency, which built the probe, is to carry out an investigation.

But the loss was a minor one, and European scientists yesterday hailed the mission as their greatest interplanetary success. Among the sensational information beamed back from this strange, freezing world were images of what seemed to be rocky shorelines lapped by a dark liquid sea.

Phew. Quite something, huh? :o)

Monday, January 10, 2005

Right. That does it

No more shopping at Waterstone’s for me. Not online, not in person, not ever. I really am torn by this decision because as a former employee, a book–lover, and a longtime browser of the great stores like that at Piccadilly in London, I’ve grown greatly attached to the place. But when a company slowly becomes a soulless travesty of what it once was, and then acts truly brutally towards its staff, it’s time to start denying it your money.

Waterstone’s has sacked a very long–serving member of its staff for writing — satirically, ocasionally, disguisedly, and on a specifically satirical blog — about his work there.

I pointed out that I had over my eleven years promoted Waterstone’s in many ways, sometimes on my own time. I have organised and hosted more author events with more writers for the enjoyment of more book-buyers than I can recall. I have written for the guide books which Waterstone’s had printed on various genres. I have appeared in print media and broadcast, talking on the BBC in my own time about literature, introduced as an expert bookseller from Waterstone’s in Edinburgh. That’s publicity you can’t buy. I had contributed to the Edinburgh International Book Festival when Waterstone’s still sponsored them. I told them that there were numerous authors who would tell them that I had been an excellent ambassador for the company. I even defended them when the company was attacked in the Scottish press for not supporting independent Scots publishers (oh the irony). None of this seemed to matter to Waterstone’s yesterday.

What appears to have happened (so far) is that someone unknown saw his blog, complained, and his line manager — or the store manager — decided to sack him. At the disciplinary hearing he was told he’d brought the company into disrepute and… well, he talks about everything on the link above.

Not surprisingly, other bloggers and book–lovers aren’t at all happy about this. But none of this will make a difference unless the many notable writers who know this unfortunate guy start to help by speaking out. Waterstone’s used to be a chain which wasn’t really a chain: the sort of place bibliophiles were actually glad to see colonising our towns and cities.

Since HMV bought the business, (interestingly, Waterstone’s’ founder, Tim Waterstone, wants to buy it back after accusing it of going down–market) it has become a place where, if you work there, it’s apparent that money and bureaucracy have a joint rule above all. That’s quite a thing to say about the way a bookshop is run.

And it is the way in which it is run that I am attacking. Individually, the staff conform to the workaday type of the bookseller: there are those who work for the money, but more who also work for the books, and their love of books. My manager, for example, had worked his ass off to open Waterstone’s Piccadilly when he could have sat on it in another part of London. My colleagues, who hailed mostly from the UK and were sprinkled with some international arrivals, were young, educated, and (mostly) either really liked books or loved them.

By cutting the budget of each branch that does not perform as well as it is told to each Christmas, Waterstone’s sets in motion a process which causes any such branch to perform less well on each succeeding Christmas, and the stock at other times of year starts to suffer. Of course, many stores of many kinds do this. (Not many managers, however, would sack a longtime bookseller who could write well, and who wrote satirically once in a while, and who was personally known, which is why I reckon this was a Regional Manager or Head Office slaying.) But it is the difference between what was, and what has now come to pass, that slowly drags a book chain’s reputation down among those who count.

Update: this story has hit the bigtime, and there’s a useful page of links here.

Nostalgia

Something inside me couldn’t quite let go of the desire to celebrate the festive season just past while I’m still on holiday. So, since it’s back tomorrow to the world of work for me, here are memories, laid down for your nosiness and my present and future nostalgia. A long post, but the memories are worth it and I don’t care.

(List of characters: Dad = my dad. James = my brother. Liz = his wife. Coralie = my niece. Simon = my nephew. Sarah = my sister. Chris, Giles, Mark, Steve, Ryan = my friends. Thea = a jolly, eccentric friend of the family.)

Walking through the carpark at Sainsbury’s, our local supermarket, as it neared midnight on the 23rd, feeling the rain on my skin. Thinking about where the turkey, vegetables, etc. came from, and looking forward to the atmospheric, loving preparation on The Day.

The ritual of kneeling on the floor of my room, door closed, on Christmas Eve, and wrestling with presents, wrapping paper, and sellotape. Sitting in my chair to inscribe books. Feeling The Day very close indeed. Later, a late night kitchen, the roasting–tin, covered with foil, sitting on the floor to receive the turkey. Covering the turkey with butter and streaky bacon, thinking of the Christmas tree in the living–room next door, and the fire burning in the hearth. Wandering upstairs, earlier in the day, midway through preparing the stuffing, and hearing the Festival of Nine Lessons and Carols on the radio.

Pouring bourbon into tumblers as the clock ticked towards midnight and the start of Christmas itself. Waking early on Christmas morning, happy, and recognising with joy that it still felt like a day removed completely from any normal week or month. Pulling back the curtains and seeing deep snow outside. In the kitchen, seeing that the oven was already on and the turkey inside. Snow–light shining into the house.

The doorbell ringing as Thea arrived, and immediately getting the ’96 Veuve Clicquot out of the fridge. Easing the cork out slowly, hearing the muffled thunk and pouring it quickly.

Snow falling steadily outside the window as we ate. Curling up on the settee afterwards, dark outside, the tree glittering in the corner. Passing the room where we ate, seeing the candles still burning at the warm, littered table.

Gleefully gobbling some of the crisped bacon which came off the turkey later that night. Generally, pulling corks. Wandering around in the snowy back garden, drawing a smiley face with freezing fingers on the lid of the old bin. The following morning, seeing the snow gone, smiling, and settling into the settee with coffee and a big book about wine.

A few days later, walking into the kitchen at night by the back door and hearing the front door open and James’s voice shouting “Hiya, Peter!”, and walking into the hall and hugging him, Coralie, Simon, and Liz. Sitting in the living–room, the fire glowing, and sharing some whisky as presents were opened and chatter warmed the world.

A big meal the next day, children’s faces glowing in the candle–light, a toast proposed with a cluster of clinking glasses high above the table. Photographs of the festive table tweaked on the computer.

Walking in Belvoir Forest on New Year’s Eve with James, Liz and the kids, and a longtime friend of James’s, glorying in familiar trees and streams revisited with a big brother who hadn’t seen them for far too long. In the evening, being in the kitchen as James and Liz bickered goodnaturedly over the preparation of dinner, and seeing dad making a massive salad of tomatoes, basil, mozzarella and a delicious homemade dressing.

After the meal, hearing shouts from the living–room — Liz rushing into the kitchen and yelling “Where — IS — THE KITCHEN ROLL!” and seeing little scared Simon sitting all bloody after falling headfirst onto the edge of the living–room door. Their deliberations over a visit to casualty on New Year’s Eve. Their departure, Liz’s anxious wait, my fear that midnight would pass with my nephew in hospital.

Their triumphant return at half eleven, Simon smiling, packed off to bed. Glasses of wine, and hugs from James, and a stupendously long and spectacular firework display from London on TV. Drunk phonecalls from Ryan. Later, in my bedroom, voice lowered so that Coralie didn’t wake in her room next door, a long, drunk phonecall from Steve and an elderly, eccentric, port–swilling, cigar–smoking member of Northern Ireland’s fading aristocracy. Downloading scores of Bach’s organ music. Sleep.

The next day, traditional New Year emptiness nowhere to be found or felt as the house was buzzing with scampering children and smiling, relieved parents. A late lunch of roast sirloin of beef, almost maddeningly delicious red wine from Bordeaux, (I imagined Loire châteaux for some reason) and conversation.

The day before they left, having lunch and afterwards being in the Crown with James. An attentive, thoughtful, cathartic catch–up over many pints of Guinness. James deeply appreciating Belfast pints. Dark, atmospherically crowded with people, James ordering ‘one for the road’ before we hailed a taxi and went home to a murder mystery on TV and bowls of hot Christmas Pudding and brandy butter.

Saturday, January 08, 2005

Boxing Day Tsunami of 2004

A photo of the effects of the tsunami

Well, it doesn’t seem nearly a fortnight ago that it happened, because even after two weeks, this most devastating of natural disasters is still creating daily havoc.

On Boxing Day, the TV networks were saying that the best information they were getting on the tsunami was over the internet, because the comparatively primitive communications infrastructure in many affected regions had been wiped out. So people blogged and blogged and blogged, and Wave of Destruction rapidly became the place to go for video and photo footage.

Flickr, which hosts some of the more recent photos on this blog, has a tagging function for photos, allowing this ‘tsunami’ page to become a photofilter of a kind, and Tony Denmark’s ‘before and after’ satellite photo gallery is taking so many hits that Mac.com is getting angry with him, so go to Digital Globe’s original, fullsize tsunami photos as well / mostly!

Typically, Wikipedia has an extensive set of tsunami articles — the link goes to the category for the 2004 earthquake, from which you can browse for varied info.

Friday, January 07, 2005

The Great Banknote Robbery

You know, you hardly hear of robberies of massive amounts of actual cash anymore. And why? Because the stuff is just so unvaluable in terms of its bulk, compared the the equivalent bulk of jewels, for example. Or paintings. Or bearer bonds. Just about any other robbable, desirable commodity you can name, really.

Which is what makes last month’s Belfast robbery of nearly £25m (over $40m for my Stateside friends) so audacious and gloriously old–fashioned. What is also old–fashioned is the clunky way in which it was done. Hold the families of two staff members hostage, tell them you'll kill the families if they don’t help you get the booty.

And then, after leaving such a locally familiar calling–card, tell everyone around you that it wasn’t you. Yes, IRA. We believe you. Even though you are the largest and most complex terrorist organisation in the UK, and have an impressive track record of hostage–taking, robbery and intimidation, it couldn’t have been done by any of you. At all. Course not.

OK, OK. Innocent until proven guilty, and all that. But at the same time, the BBC story’s headline “Police ‘could link IRA to raid’” made me laugh because everyone else here did that on the 21st of December! Ha! Catch up, police, FFS! :oD

Sunday, January 02, 2005

Abstinence

Picture of fireworks

That word really doesn’t fit in with this time of year, does it? I’m prepared to allow a bit of abstemious thought on New Year’s Day itself (any my god, did you see the fireworks in London at midnight?! wow!) but now all those resolutions have been abandoned, abstinence just feels wrong, doesn’t it?

Not to some American kids, it doesn’t — and I am of course talking about Bush’s drive to indoctrinate teenagers in sexual abstention instead of giving them sex education, or even safe sex education, come to that!

At Shoemaker High School they use an abstinence-only course popular across Texas called Worth the Wait — a trademarked brand.

Koehler continued her lesson by listing the sexual activity that fell in the ‘danger’ category. ‘Regular intercourse; anal intercourse; oral intercourse; skin–to–skin under clothes; genital contact; and there are some problems with deep passionate kissing — these are risky behaviours.’

Holding hands, hugging with clothes on and ‘light kissing’ were OK, the teens were told. Koehler then ran through the gamut of sexual diseases. ‘How are you going to keep yourself safe?’ she asked the class. ‘Abstinence,’ they chorused.

‘What do you also hear will keep you safe?’ she asked. ‘Condoms,’ they answered.

‘Do they keep you safe?’ she asked. ‘No,’ they chorused.

Koehler believes young people are unreliable in their use of contraception. She is banned by law from promoting the benefits of correctly used condoms.

It is not simply appalling that such brainwashing occurs in schools in a highly–educated and scientifically advanced western country. It is not simply cringeworthy to watch young people’s very bodily freedom be dictated to by such a behind–backs religious and sexually trappist agenda.

It is, quite obviously to me at least, bloody dangerous (psychologically, ethically and sexually) to teach teenagers that sex is hazardous outside marriage, blissful in marriage, and that the only correct thing about contraception is that it shouldn’t be used. Because quite apart from the harm this crackpot scheme would do to the sex lives of these teenagers if it actually caught on, it’s worth remembering that they will — oh, yes they will — have kids some day, and will talk to their kids about sex.

A thoughtlessly abstemious attitude like this one is irresponsible and I hope that ultimately American kids will treat it with the contempt it deserves and feel free to have safe, responsible, mindblowing sex whenever the hell they freely choose to.

And on that note, Happy 2005! :o)