Friday, January 07, 2005

The Great Banknote Robbery

You know, you hardly hear of robberies of massive amounts of actual cash anymore. And why? Because the stuff is just so unvaluable in terms of its bulk, compared the the equivalent bulk of jewels, for example. Or paintings. Or bearer bonds. Just about any other robbable, desirable commodity you can name, really.

Which is what makes last month’s Belfast robbery of nearly £25m (over $40m for my Stateside friends) so audacious and gloriously old–fashioned. What is also old–fashioned is the clunky way in which it was done. Hold the families of two staff members hostage, tell them you'll kill the families if they don’t help you get the booty.

And then, after leaving such a locally familiar calling–card, tell everyone around you that it wasn’t you. Yes, IRA. We believe you. Even though you are the largest and most complex terrorist organisation in the UK, and have an impressive track record of hostage–taking, robbery and intimidation, it couldn’t have been done by any of you. At all. Course not.

OK, OK. Innocent until proven guilty, and all that. But at the same time, the BBC story’s headline “Police ‘could link IRA to raid’” made me laugh because everyone else here did that on the 21st of December! Ha! Catch up, police, FFS! :oD

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