Thursday, June 03, 2004

Waterstone’s Piccadilly: ‘Personal Shopper’ alert

This isn’t such a weird story as it might seem. The Daily Telegraph, Via MoorishGirl:

Waterstone's flagship store in Piccadilly has had a “dedicated Personal Shopper” – who will help customers with tricky buying decisions – for some time. Zoe Hall is the young lady who can help you. However, Ms Hall has now added another string to her bow: instead of just recommending particular titles she will, if requested, come up with a whole library.

The “Personal Library Service” offers those with empty shelves an opportunity to fill them at one go. To illustrate the point Waterstone’s has produced a list of 30 titles which they consider to be “The Essential Library”. It contains such must–haves as Passing Time in the Loo by Stevens W. Anderson, The Mammoth Book of Jokes by Geoff Tibbles and The Good Food Guide. If this were not disconcerting enough, the bookstore seems to be under the impression that the plays of William Shakespeare, J. R. R. Tolkien’s The Lord Of The Rings and A. A. Milne’s Winnie The Pooh, along with every other title on the list, are works of “non-fiction”.

A library is an organic thing, it accompanies you through life, and ought to reflect the taste and knowledge of its owner, not the bookseller. Still, should you need an “all–pink” collection for a seven–year–old, call Ms Hall. Her expertise — but not the merchandise — comes free of charge.

I was a fixture in the Piccadilly store for more or less all of 2001 — just after the jets had crashed into the World Trade Center, the people milling around for books about Nostradamus were there in droves — and the store was full of what I can only describe as consumer–oriented promotions even then.

To partially defend this abovementioned crime: as Waterstones’ flagship store, Piccadilly was always going to have ‘supermarket’–type offers which other branches wouldn’t have, and it did. But it also had (and still has) a brilliant stock, which becomes gloriously quirky in certain departments.

However, Zoe’s being a bit silly here. Either that or the manager is. Or the marketing manager is. Or the otherwise excellent helpfulness of the staff has crossed the line dividing ‘extremely helpful’ from ‘absurdly helpful’. The list (which, unhelpfully, isn’t presented in full by the Telegraph) is… awful. I mean, as a writer and a reader I look at it and think it’s awful. And the thought that a single bookseller anywhere could conceivably help anyone (apart from themselves) to build an entire library, however basic, is risible. *sigh*

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