peripathetic

Weirdness
I'm all up in the air about Josh still... yesterday I was feeling better, but today a big flat grey realisation that... well, that it's not going to be the same anymore.

Of course it won't be. That's just the difference between moving towards going out, and going out not being an issue. But there's a ball in the pit of my stomach. And also a warm feeling that he wants to be friends and I want that too. A bleakness coloured by a thankfulness.

Right now he's on a plane heading to Florida, and when he returns in just over a week I want to turn the weirdness around and make it into [a new type of] closeness. Getting around to different ways of thinking isn't something I'll be able to do until then, until I'm in the same room as him.

Anyway, here's a weird link about banana torture.